Now What?

At one point in your short life, you will think that you’ve either seen it all or you’ll never see it all.

Let me tell you something, if you are adamantly keeping to either of those two thoughts, you’re probably going to miss out the plethora of joyous moments in your life. I’m just going to give you a piece of advice. Very simple, just three words: Embrace your youth.

Personally, I would say I’ve been through hell and back. In this context, hell is a very subjective and abstract entity so you don’t get to tell me or compare with me how your hell was. Then again, I’m in a happy place now, the happiest I’ve been. Funny how Elysium and the netherworld are just so thinly separated by our own minds, no? Then you have the juxtaposition of them both, when you’re caught pondering on taking a chance or walking away.

I am ecstatic at how my life had taken its turns. I am proud of how I had dealt with and overpowered my demons. I am happy that I’ve met wonderful people and an amazing person.

So, now what?

Fear

There’s something very unnerving about uncertainty. The possibility of something to go the way you want it to, or the complete opposite, leaves so much room for hope. However, hope does not come without doubt. The more hope you have, the bigger your doubt gets. It’s like when something is going to reveal itself, you can’t help but leap back and forth between the good and the bad. And it’s driving me insane.

But (there’s always a but), you have to take the jump anyway. Saying something to somebody, and thinking “they must think I’m psycho” happens a lot. Then again, people might just surprise you with their support, their love, their care. Not everybody is bad and negative in this world. With that, I believe that support is one of the most important things a person can get, and also one of the most important things that a person can give.

It always comes down to: I’m scared, but I’ll get through this, and I hope you’ll be there with me along the way.