Roles

It’s tiring to support something on your own, one can actually burn out easily without the right support.

One of the things I disapprove of the most, is the implementation of roles in daily life.

I do not see the need for or significance of placing roles on everything and anything. Why are there things a man should do for a woman, just because of his gender? Why should there be a difference in responsibilities between equal partners? Why is there a need to say “You should do this because you are this” or “I should do that because I am that”?

I don’t like it when I hear people talking about said gender or status roles.

I have female friends telling me they don’t want to take the initiative in talking to a guy they are interested in because apparently “the guy is supposed to make the move”. I have gay friends telling me they don’t want to propose anything because apparently “that’s what the top should do”. I have comrades telling me they don’t need to put in the effort to complete another group mates part because apparently “that’s their responsibility”.

Like why do you have to put a responsibility that is easily shared on another person all the time? Did they choose to be the way they are? Do you think it’s the norm? Just because the other person doesn’t detest this thinking, because they are already geared in the way that as the man they have to pay for the meal, that as the dominant person they have to take care of the lesser one all the time. The worst part is that if they don’t pull through with what they are “supposed” to do, they get slandered, criticised, hated on, hated for.

As a decent person, do you think they enjoy being used because of who they are? Just because they don’t point it out like I do, do you think they agree to it? They might just be thinking it’s their sole responsibility to make all parties happy.

Little things matter; Little words carry weight.

I don’t like it when people talk like that, but I hate it when people try to implement such views onto me. If you think I should do something because I am a guy, a man, then you can leave. If you think I should do everything because I am a leader, then you can fuck off. If you think you are superior to me and have the position to tell me what I can or cannot, what I should or shouldn’t do, then demonstrate that worth to me.

Otherwise, change yourself and your mindset. I am not confined to doing what I want or don’t want to do just because of a single person’s desires. Just as I don’t believe in one-sided effort.

Put in effort. Take initiative. Ask how his/her day was. Invite him/her out. Ask if your group members need help. Tell them how you really feel. Be proud of yourself and of others. Be confident. Be brave. Step out of your comfort zone. These are the people I admire, not people who sit back and receive effort.

As equals, we walk side by side; not one in front of the other.

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Author: Bryan Yap

Food enthusiast, amateur photographer & aspiring revolutionary

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